You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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