this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
