And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
