I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
