I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
