no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
