we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
