I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
