who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
