Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
