Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize