Christians are straight up FREAKS
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
