also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That's when you crack a 10am beer
honey bunches of taint.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
