I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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