i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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