so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
