This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
