the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
