we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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