Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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