Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
