I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
