that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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