Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
