Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize