If i come over, it means nothing
plz talk dirty to me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
