my sisters under your porch take her home
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
be right there i have to get my cape
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
