At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
