My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
