My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
