Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize
