He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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