We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
