u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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