It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize