He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
