i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
