Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
