bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
