I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
