And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
