What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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