Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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