At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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