He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
