girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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