3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
