I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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