He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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