Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
