ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
