I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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