I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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