You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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