I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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