Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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