yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
