Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
