you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
