i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
