it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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