My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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